Be Uncertain — Then Continue Anyways. A Message to Future Myself

I am entering a transitionary period of my life as I near graduation coming up in two months. The reality is, my time in college is running out, and the urgency for deciding what my next steps in life should have been rising to the list of priorities.

Making a choice for where you want to go after college can be a scary decision. Your first job can be a defining doorway to walk through, with influence on the opportunities you will be exposed to, setting off a cascade of effects that could completely alter your life. So then comes then the question arises: How do you make that choice? Especially with questions repeating in the mind like:

• What is my dream job?
• Can I even get that job right now?
• What kind of pay should I expect?
• What if I hate it? What if its the wrong decision?

In an attempt to ensure that I am in charge of where my first destination is, I have sought out mentorship from those who have achieved something that I may want to achieve. I have met with people ranging from my peers to highly successful engineering sales people, to $150m net-worth oil tycoons. But few people I have talked to have ignited any significant excitement inside of me.

This was until I reached out to a business man, and engineer–a local solar CEO–and spent time having coffee with him. I felt that our values, history, and goals were so strongly aligned, and it was in an area of engineering that I am very passionate about. At the end of the conversation, the conversation of hiring me arose. I was left with two options:

1. Potentially work as a project coordinator, (5 days a week).
   1. This kind of position tends to have an attractive title, salary, and benefits.
2. Potentially work as a solar installer (4 days a week), with my extra day off available to shadow anyone in the company.
   1. This kind of job tends to be more laborious, less attractive title, lower pay.

And I have been looking at these job options, along with others, and I feel no draw or excitement to the more attractive high paying jobs. Working as an installer, learning business on the side truly sounds like an adventure. That being said, I have felt a heavy societal, and social pressure to pursue jobs which land me in a nice company with a nice salary. At this point in life, I dont define this as success for myself.

If everything progresses nicely with this company, I will choose the lower paying job. I feel some level of uncertainty in my decision, but I want to practice the idea that we should follow what excites us most (as long as it doesn't adversely affect others). I have decided that I will let myself feel uncertain, but I will still pursue what I believe is a better route for my life anyways.